Divorce can be a painful and challenging ordeal for any family, especially for the children. Preteens and teenagers often respond differently to such huge life changes. They may easily feel left out or silenced when parents discuss the child-related orders of their separation.
In Texas, all minors are accounted for similarly with regard to child custody, visitation and child support. However, older children may want their voices heard during the process. It is often beneficial to let them share their thoughts and preferences, regardless of whether you and your spouse are finalizing your divorce privately or going to court.
Creating a parenting plan
Working together with your spouse on a parenting plan is essential to reach a custody agreement. In addition to dividing your responsibilities and expenses, you may also want to consider your older children’s opinions. They may have certain routines and relationships they want to maintain. Taking those things into account can help you and your spouse clearly define important elements in your agreement, including:
- Parenting schedule: Outlines when each parent will be with the children and how often, including weekends, holidays and summer breaks
- Decision-making duties: Defines how parents will decide about children’s health care, education and extracurricular activities
- Communication protocols: Details how parents share updates regarding the children and maintain emergency contact information
- Financial responsibilities: Addresses the division of child support, medical costs and other miscellaneous expenses between the parties
- Modification and review provisions: Instructs how the parenting plan can be properly altered as the children get older and circumstances change
An effective parenting plan does more than detail how you and your spouse want to coparent after the divorce. Considering your children’s input also helps give them a sense of stability, making the process smoother and more favorable for everyone.
Preparing for contested custody scenarios
When you and the other party have conflicting goals regarding child support and custody, a judge typically makes the final decision. In Texas, children older than 12 years of age need to do an in-chambers interview with the judge if your case ends up in court. While their answers may not fully dictate the final decision on their custody, the court will still take it into account.
You may need to approach this with caution as the process can feel stressful for your children. Having careful conversations with them while seeking legal advice is one of the best ways to prepare them for this court interview.
Giving space for your children’s thoughts
Divorcing when you have older children usually presents unique factors that may affect your child custody agreement. Listening to their thoughts can help show them that their well-being is still your priority, even during challenging times. Your children may have an easier time adjusting to a different family dynamic if they know they have your support.